Lord please let the road ahead be a mystery. I smiled cause You let me saw. I would love to explore things myself instead of expecting things to happen, cause it is really helpless to see things happening without having the will to change the outcome.

Instead, I ought to say, " If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that'' James 4:14
I know who holds the future, And I know who holds my hand;
With God things don't just happen. Everything by Him is planned.

在我最软弱无助的时候，我认为我是孤独的时候，电话里的祷告让我的眼泪不禁地落下。主啊，你不曾离弃我，而是我背离了你。原谅我吧，虽然我知道我不配得

Eyes cant see, ears cant hear but heart sees everything. Lord it seems I cant handle the wisdom You gave. Bless everybody else more than I do as I already have enough today.

主我向你呼求，虽然我知道我不配，求主你垂听我祷告。
带走我的忧伤，带走我的重担。

Life is getting tougher but my dreams seems to be closer in every step I take. I have committed my plans to my Lord and He has established it step by step. Still not knowing how my future looks like, but I feel good to be able to sacrifice for the one I love.
Still learning to forgive and forget, once the things I saw, I foreseen and going on.
I may not be perfect but still I am doing the best out of everything.
Where are my boundaries and limit? I will not be turning back. Not even once.

我不知道怎样祷告，
我不知道该说什么，
我没有很多时间，
所以，
我点燃着蜡烛，
将我拥有的什么，
将我拥有的时间，
将我拥有的自己，
我都把这些留给主，
当我离开这里的时候，这烛光还能继续照耀我的祈祷。
您明白我为谁祷告，请照顾她，让她能够坚强起来和能得到您的帮助，请减轻我的忧虑，提醒我为我所关顾的人祷告，让他们得到爱和照顾，感谢主，奉主命求。阿门。

So much emotional fluctuations this few weeks. It is the time of the year again. Hopefully the old loops will break. If it wasn't You who remind me to seek for you, I would have broken down inside out. I am just a simple man seeking for simple happiness. Have I asked too much?