Life is like drama. This one is really nice.

My friends in past 14 years

Cookie when we first met.

How close is she when she knew me


This is the last picture i had about her. as if she was asking me to move on. i really missed her when she needed me everywhere. She was so elegant. Why do u leave again without me by your side?








I just couldn't take it anymore. It makes me feel like shit to know u guys so well but unable to be with u guys whenever u needed me while u will be when I needed someone. Have I cared too much? Makes me feel like a dumb to cry over something that doesn't exist anymore. Maybe I shouldn't put too much love in something. Everything will be gone in no time. This heartache is immense. I felt so helpless now

It has been three years since the karma begun. Everything, everyone I love or show care for will be gone. They are either dead, missing or went far. Have I done anything wrong to deserve all this? Emptiness filled me again.
Yes for Lies in my life. No for Love in my life.

早上醒来突然有一股无力感，孤独感，恐惧感，侵蚀着我的心。
糟透了。突然感觉走投无路了。接下来该怎么走，往哪走？
为什么我总是迷失？生命好苦T。T

Did I just started a marathon alone?

Eye has not seen, the things which God has prepared for those who love Him Corinthians 2:9

The world seeks fulfillment in the pleasures they adore;
But those who follows Jesus Christ are given so much more.

Belonging to God bring boundless blessings

I love my life
Every setback is my motivation to strive further.
Every hardship I face I would love you more.
Every sadness I encounter reminds me not to leave you
Every moment I am tired there will always be someone to comfort me.
Everything I do there must be a backup.
Thanks for everything.

So [Moses] cried out to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a tree. —Exodus 15:25

I know not by what methods rare
The Lord provides for me;
I only know that all my needs
He meets so graciously. —Adams

Facing an impossibility gives us the opportunity to trust God.

Striving hard these days. Assignments just sucked whole of my life away. This is the 2nd year since new challenges arrive. Just decided no more uni after this. But behind all this hard work, there is always a hope for me to drive myself further, to succeed and reunion perhaps?
May fate treats me right.

亚伯拉罕的信心

创　２２章
亚伯拉罕在１００岁的时候生下了他第一个儿子。上帝要他献上为祭。他心中没有疑虑，正当他想点火把以撒献上的时候，上帝亲自阻止了他，并用羊代替献上。

而你呢？愿意牺牲你最爱的东西把它献上为祭吗？

在这里，我会说我愿意。我不应该这么自私。请你握住我的手向前行，因我知道你的恩典如此丰厚。

回望过去，发现部落格里有许多不敢ｐｏ的文章，深深埋在草稿里。
不过，２１岁的我不会再回望过去。但我希望，未来的我会更幸福。

Where art thou my heart?
I thought I am the one who was keeping it. Today i found out it is stolen long time ago and never returned.
Emptiness filled me again. The feeling is terrifying.
Missing you badly ='(

September 11

Last month in Malaysia. When shall we all meet again?
Still, finding everything fragile.
What is it when you sincerely put all your effort into something and it turns out into nothing?
And what is it when you know that it is nothing from the start and yet u put all your effort in?
Stay hungry, stay foolish is all I have learned.

Adventure Seeking

Another sunday. As we adventurers gather seek for something to do. Last week, our cars drifted into the drain and costs RM230 to pull it out from the drain while driving fast on rocky mud road.
Today, it rained heavily till we could hardly see from our cars. As you can see from the picture below, rainwater washed the mud down the mountainous terrain like waterfall. With thunder roaring, we decided its a green light on our trekking plan.

Just another epic picture. It is just like military training. The water is about 2 feet deep. It wont cause any harm but who knows anything lies beneath?

This is the fattest worm I have encountered so far. SAGO is its name. Famous food rich in protein but never expect to see it around.

Life is too short for me to halt and moan about fate I cant change. I tried by best to enjoy every breathing moment. In a blink of eye, it is mid august again. I guess holiday will be over soon. It is sad to walk through every happy moment without my kaki-kaki in miri and kuching. Who knows where and when we will meet again after a year?

Today, pastor recommended the movie ''The Rite''. the movie makes me rethink who I am. Fire tests gold but God tests our heart. Even Satan knows the deepest thinking in our heart. It lies to you, deceives you to follow him.

Who am I at the moment? What will I be tomorrow? Hoping to overcome the obstacles I met in my life.
May fate treats me fair.

Just another day

Leap of faith. Ended up another leg stuck in the pit.

第？天？

大雨之后，穿了拖鞋去上班。结果一样，陷入泥沼。所以我说，每个工作都有难处，要做的开心才好。
今天把Cookie逼进墙角才拍到她。真是好口爱呀~

Think

Saw this 2 fella this afternoon. Without shoes, they walked around the site with a magnet on stick. Collecting scrap metals to be sold, ordered by their parents.
This indicates Malaysia is still third world country, how has it improved in 52 years?
Count your blessings.

The Very Next Day

This happens when U lose focus on site. The very next day when I had the previous post, things did happen.
Hence, I will say, life gets better from now on, everyone is healthy, everyone is happy, everything is going smooth till the day we die. Please make this true like it did previously.

Life~

It has been a long time since I have stopped by to drop anything here.
Briefly describing life so far : Piece of shit
Being tired. Being disappointed. Being lost in time. Being confused. Going through mundane routine.
Just tired carrying my burdens and hopes and all of them shattered into pieces and I have to mend them piece by piece on my own.
Many stopped by to share my laughter. Tears, one or two perhaps. But I know who will be leaving at what time.
Getting used to it. Moving on on my own. Tomorrow will be brand new day, I believe, perhaps.

Back to the old place

Decided to leave Sibu to go back to the old place last weekend. Bintulu was the first stop. Stayed at chai's house. That place reminds me of whatever happened when I was in foundation. Those days sunk down into memories, which I will never look back. We bought a bottle of chivas, a dozen of stout and few packets of cigarettes. Talked about past and future, money, career and women. Whom we met in the past, who we are with these days. Things change with time. What we did were to laugh them through whole night till dawn.

Reach Miri the another day afternoon. Didn't manage to meet and hang out with everyone i know. Some is experiencing things that will help them to grow up. But still glad to see everyone is doing alright. Chilling out at Sports Cafe during the last night. Sang as loud as we could, bottom up every beer we saw, Shake with the bass of the music, ended up in Lutong at 4am, eating my favorite wantan.

Nothing matters anymore when you are able to have fun with your valuable friends. May not be coming back next year. By the time we are meeting up, everyone will have graduated, some married perhaps? Some working far far away? Only time can tell the answer. Moving on again, departing towards different journey.
God Bless us all, may we be gathering in somewhere again in future. You all are my best friends =')

忙

忙碌能让你忘了一切。
如果我的忙碌能有回报，我希望能这样一直下去。
不过，这日子只剩有58天~

Blessed

Xiao hei barely recognize me when I was back on the first day. Today, she was lying beside me when I was having dinner. Bet she gonna be lonely since ah Dai passed away and Da Hei ran away. Hope she will be good friend with cookie soon.

Just felt that I am blessed to be home again. God has made the impossible possible and shown a path when time has come. Please forgive me for complaining so much and having so little faith when I was in the darkness. Thank you for holding my hands, making me realize I wasn't alone in these days. You are always beside me

Home

16th of July. Another 2 weeks had passed. Had pleasant time with my beloved friends in KL yesterday. Hoping we could meet again someday and have fun~
Seriously deprived of sleep as blood veins in my eyes burst. As a result, tears started dropping and people in KLIA was looking at me as I look like a pathetic man hiding in corner crying for some reason.
Met Cookie. She was afraid of me and started running hiding and barking when I reached home.
With Curiosity
As if she was saying: GET AWAY FROM ME~~

our relationship got better as I spent some time with her. Hopefully will be improving these few days =D

Time flies. This is second day of July. Spent June with my beloved friends before each of us heading towards different journey. Everyone moved forward while i am still struggling to find a way out. Moving house these few days, moving tonnes of luggage around. Arms still aching, hopefully will decrease some fat meat through this. Will be moving again three days later to a place with no internet connection.
Hoping God will make a way~

The fact seems harsh, future seems hopeless. Prayers seems unanswered. I still believe in anything.
Fire tests Gold, God tests your heart. Time speaks the truth.

5days Ireland Trip

Went Ireland last week, via Ryanair. Very satisfied with the service, amazed with the quality of service and punctuality despite the were are cheap.
Spent Day 1 and 2 Exploring the attractions of the city via bus 11. Didnt took the city tour bus to save cost.
Things in ireland are about 2 times price of UK. for exp, mineral water costs 45cent at least, but 19p in local tesco stores. Meals range at least from 7-20 euros. << normal price.
Interesting thing i came across:

Art? Those are from modern art museum. lol
Wax soldier busy writing notes. Wrote crap?
Played with real guns.

Day 3:
Had one day trip across 11 of 27 counties across Ireland to the edge of the world. Cliff of Moher
Stood by the edge of the cliff, reminds me the moments I had at the Tip of Borneo Sabah. Before we had terrible accident. lol. But I was safe though, throughout the trip.
Small trail to the other end

2 steps away from the edge of cliff. This is now narrow the cliffs are. Strong wind could blow you down and you will reunite with your ancestors. Traveled along the rocky coastline where we had our lunch at nearby pub. Just the road signs above the mountain is interesting yet confusing.
Another rocky mountain i climbed while everyone else is going to the another cliff.
On the mountain, somebody left 4 stones balanced.
I added another one as a proof that I was there. LOL
This was a great experience cause our tour guide drove 80km/h along a narrow road where we were only separated by a 1.5m thick stone wall and the deep blue sea along the cliff/ coastline. We nearly had a head on collision with the bus, but somehow we managed to escape death.
After that he said a golden sentence: Ladies and Gentlemen, if that was to happen again, do what I do, close your eyes and we will be fine. LOL
Day 4
Revisited the small parts of the Dublin town where we missed on Day 1 and 2. Went for food hunting and did a little shopping. Slept for whole day after that.
Didnt manage to see Dublin at night because we were all tired. Slept around 9pm and woke up around 9am for five days. Totally owned.
Some more photos to be uploaded to facebook sometime in future =D

End of Summer Trip~

Why

Why always put liars in my life?
When I believed there is something then it turns to be nothing in another sec?
Am I too kind to be deceived?
Do I deserve that?
May God grant you long life, let you suffer on this rotten world.

Goodbye

Again, its time to say goodbye to my dearest friends, whom gonna depart and live our own separate life.
Time flies. I could still remember how we first met. Things we have been through. Scene we shared. And now, everything becomes part of our sweetest memory. It is such a wonderful thing when we all of different personality, background come together and share every of our best moments together.
Thank you all for coming into my life. Enriching my life like it never has been. May God bless you all in your lives.
Someday, we will meet again, and spend time together, just cant in be the way like previous 8 months. I love and hate uni life, especially when we have to say goodbye.
Do keep in touch, share our needs and keep each other in our prayers.
Just tonight, I start missing every single of you.

Happy DAys

I smiled at fate, Laughed at destiny.
Untold truth buried. Case closed.
Life is much contented as it used to be when you have made a right decision.
Things I said or predict to be has happened. Wonder if I say I wanna teo toto in three months time, will it happen?
Spent an hour in the kitchen making honey chicken. Forgot to take picture coz too hungry. lol.
Good foods just motivate me =)
Tomorrow To-Do: 菜饼

聆听

求你聆听我每一个心跳，那是我最虔诚最渴慕的祈祷~
主你知道我们内心所想。若有亏欠别人的，求你赦免。
若别人有所亏欠，求你也原谅，因那人不知。
求你赐予那人聪明智慧。
眼看今天是最后一 次敬拜小组在一起的日子，心中有些不舍。
这些日子，无数感动，无数成长，都靠这些人。
不知道明年，你还会安排我在谁的生命里，让我把这些感动带给他们呢？

After Exam

Ice Cream Frenzy
DDT Frenzy
Drama Frenzy.
Loving Lie To Me =D

事情发生得太快，一切看似不真实。我害怕，又重蹈覆辙。
人有太多不诚实，我看了太感慨。
很多事不说，不代表我不懂。
我装傻，不代表我真的傻。
我不是上帝，我没有无限包容。
想想前再说，想想前再做。

Extremely relaxed for tomorrow. I dont know why. Not feeling good about this. My head is empty. But it is exam tomorrow.
But I spent my days sleeping more than studying these days?
Felt completely useless today T.T

The Rite

Liar knows a liar well. He deceives everyone. He will have use all kinds of lies and reasons to group us with him. He is Satan the devil.
Are you deceived by the world? What have you chosen between the world and Lord?
Only true faith can win the long term battle. How much is your faith?
The movie The Rite has left much impact on me.

Exam Weeks

Here starts the exam weeks. Lasting for two weeks.
Pray for everyone in need.
While everyone doing the same usual thing, I finally met a girl daring to be different.
Maybe one day, can I do what she did? Admire her from heart. She has great wisdom from God. May God Bless her.

平凡的一天

早上醒来无所事事到中午，这是我不知道浪费的第几天。
去了一位姐妹的家，让一位从香港回来的理发师剪了头发。没想到的是，从那么复杂环境来的她竟然提醒了我好多事。短短二十分钟，我们从天谈到地。不平凡的她竟然能有如此谦卑的心。
嫁人了的她提到了我这个年纪种种的问题。
虽然有逼迫，但是当一个基督徒应该不怕牺牲。
基督徒应该找回一个基督徒谈恋爱，因为大家价值观一样。价值观一样很重要！
从她身上我看到一位真正爱主的人，一位蒙福的人。
宁可错过，不可犯错是我的结论。
惭愧在我软弱的日子中没与主同行。原谅我吧！

Random encounter

Met someone on a wheelchair who says he needed help.
Pushed him across 2 streets and he never turn back to say anything.
Thanks for taking me for granted!

Life has given me every random shits it can find. Totally fed up. But will not give up.

Appreciation

The cat who likes to lie his head on ppl's leg has passed away. He is Ah Dai.
He is lovely, he is kind, he is sneaky. I remember when I was in secondary school, the Ah Bi, him and the twin cats were my playmates.
I cant express how much I miss them when they are all gone, but I am thankful I had such a pleasant time with you guys. I am actually afraid to go home. Thinking of sitting alone outside without you guys.
I hate the heartbreaking feelings. Why do I have to endure this kind of thing all time? Can anything stay in my life forever? To share my tears and laughter?
When things left, you have to let go.
Will appreciate every moment in my short holiday back home. Looking forward to see my new dog Cookie~

人啊，别说你相信我，我连自己都不相信。
我不相信命运，我不信运气。
即使风光明媚，却不是你预期。
我愿默默等待，上帝你美妙的安排。

说着爱，若没有信，一切都是枉然。
我没有信

Durham Trip

Durham Cathedral from its top tower view

Harry Porter's Courtyard Find this scene familiar?

Went boat rowing for an hour at riverside. Second boat rowing experience since secondary school. Tiring but enjoyable.

Just a simple trip to a beautiful town to relax. Hopefully I can study for the next few days

Snacks

Craving for snacks when exam time is near. Just eating non stop. Hope i wont get diabetes

Sorry~
I have my own plan.
Hopefully everything works out.
Good luck guys~

care

people often moan about the people who doesn't care about them.
Those who doesn't care will not give a shit even you had an accident.
Those who cared will be concerned with any situations you are having.
If you do ever realize about the fact, please wake up. Stop thinking about those who doesn't care and give some of your love to those who cared. They are the one who really worth the best of you.

专心

如果当初能忍住了激动的灵魂，也许今夜我不必那么烦恼~
我~
不要~
不想~
不能~
我不想知道，我不再关心，我不在乎。
我就是我。
我只想走我自己的道路。
专心读书呗~

回不去

爱情遇到背叛，一切将会面目全非
鱼与熊掌不能兼得，贪心的人通常会一无所有。
错过的，一切美好的回忆都回不去了。
转身离开也许是最好的。
别当善男信女捍卫爱情。谁都靠不住
有愛的地方，才是我想要留下的地方
《犀利人妻》

Weee~

It is 2am.........I couldn't close my eyes... I dont know why. Memories of the past keep flashing back..
3 assignments due next week and I couldn't concentrate.. while one with all calculations wrong.. Have to redo~
Still very stressed with house hunting...
But I think I'll be fine.
Just when I walk out all my housemates gather outside with 2 policemen. Just found out one of my housemate pee on another housemate's car. Police stopped by..
Everyone broke into laughter in the end.
Moving on to tomorrow~

Some

In your life, you meet people.
Some you never think about again.
Some, you wonder what happened to them.
There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you.
And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again.
But you do.

指望

怕不怕被拒絕
怕不怕被省略
你怕不怕被淪落在宿命中妥協
當真愛宣告從缺
驕傲的玫瑰正一片一片枯萎
儘管你抱歉 懺悔 真心一旦墜跌 就不能飛
別指望我諒解 別指望我體會 愛不是點頭就能挽回 快樂或傷悲 沒什麼分別 心碎到終點會迎刃而解
別指望我諒解 別指望我體會 愛不是注定要填你的缺 太多的是非 來不及杜絕 更不想依戀這殘缺的美 殘缺的迂迴

惊醒

一个局外人的一句话让我醒了过来。
从没发现原来我们有着这样的问题。
谢谢上帝给了我这么一位知心朋友。
在我最需要的时候给我窝心的开导，最诚实的答案。
我看到了正在发生的事，我不愿意去做改变罢了。
老毛病该改了。
一切都过去了。

There is someone praying for you

或许你没想过，或需你不曾发现
每当你伤心的时候，当你有软弱的时候，
有个人在默默为你祷告。
上帝总有奇妙安排。
最近总怀念过去，总希望着未来。
不过，当一切不在掌握时，我选择交托。

我只想

专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心专心
读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书读书
其他的，现在别来烦我。

Progressing

Din get a placement here. I think God is opening another pathway for me in Malaysia.
Booked flight back to Msia. Makes me excited thinking of holiday~~
Entering exam revision month. No more DDT. If cannot control Maximum 1 hour a day. lol.
Assignments, not yet finished.
Revision 0%
Things to do, look for a nice house for me and my friend.
Please shine the path in front of me. I need courage and guidance.
April Fool Today, I maybe fooled somebody else but I am not kidding on this post.
Love u all =)

迷失的羔羊

路15：20--
若迷失，天父会主动寻回。
书里给的比喻是失羊，失钱，失人。
100只羊里若有一只走失了天父也会寻回。
羊和钱不会悔改，但是人会。
若寻回，天父会欢喜接纳。
悔改，说出自己的弱点，无须做些什么。打开你的心，才能受到天父无限的接纳。
而罪是唯一让我们与上帝隔离的东西。

Manchester and Liverpool Trip

Received message around 9pm on sunday night while i was still sleeping, asked by Mr Andy to go traveling. Then, the trip was decided at 12am with members of ditched 5 and 2 newcomers. One of the member of ditched 5 ditched himself for homework. lol.

After arriving hotel in Manchester, 1st thing we did was shot sendiri.. hahha

Went MUFC to see legendary home for manchester United. The tour guide was very loso. Fallen asleep halfway while he was introducing the place.



Our dinner at Manchester's Chinatown












































At some river side at manchester. We were supposed to feed goose only. Then attacked by hungry pigeons from the roof nearby. Everyone ran frantically.


Shot b4 we leave Manchester



Gala casino at riverside! The first place I went alone while they are all resting at hotel. *I didn't gamble* =)





Liverpool has awesome night view. It is a better place to stay compared to Manchester from my point of view.

SS again in an Anglican Cathedral in Liverpool. Didn't make it to the top because we went there 8am in the morning =.= . Everything is still closed.

6 of us spent some time at Beatle's Museum. We colored something b4 we left. This reminded me of my childhood. lol

Hopped on City Bus to view Liverpool in a whole. I was asleep because too tired. =D



Went world museum. The things inside are good for learning and increasing your knowledge. LOL

Overall, this is a nice trip. Forgive me for the blurry pictures taken by my phone. there will be more to be uploaded by others.
I am stressed again back to this sad place. Have to rush my work and start revising for exam. Wohoo~