Lord please let the road ahead be a mystery. I smiled cause You let me saw. I would love to explore things myself instead of expecting things to happen, cause it is really helpless to see things happening without having the will to change the outcome.

Instead, I ought to say, " If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that'' James 4:14
I know who holds the future, And I know who holds my hand;
With God things don't just happen. Everything by Him is planned.

在我最软弱无助的时候，我认为我是孤独的时候，电话里的祷告让我的眼泪不禁地落下。主啊，你不曾离弃我，而是我背离了你。原谅我吧，虽然我知道我不配得

Eyes cant see, ears cant hear but heart sees everything. Lord it seems I cant handle the wisdom You gave. Bless everybody else more than I do as I already have enough today.

主我向你呼求，虽然我知道我不配，求主你垂听我祷告。
带走我的忧伤，带走我的重担。

Life is getting tougher but my dreams seems to be closer in every step I take. I have committed my plans to my Lord and He has established it step by step. Still not knowing how my future looks like, but I feel good to be able to sacrifice for the one I love.
Still learning to forgive and forget, once the things I saw, I foreseen and going on.
I may not be perfect but still I am doing the best out of everything.
Where are my boundaries and limit? I will not be turning back. Not even once.

我不知道怎样祷告，
我不知道该说什么，
我没有很多时间，
所以，
我点燃着蜡烛，
将我拥有的什么，
将我拥有的时间，
将我拥有的自己，
我都把这些留给主，
当我离开这里的时候，这烛光还能继续照耀我的祈祷。
您明白我为谁祷告，请照顾她，让她能够坚强起来和能得到您的帮助，请减轻我的忧虑，提醒我为我所关顾的人祷告，让他们得到爱和照顾，感谢主，奉主命求。阿门。

So much emotional fluctuations this few weeks. It is the time of the year again. Hopefully the old loops will break. If it wasn't You who remind me to seek for you, I would have broken down inside out. I am just a simple man seeking for simple happiness. Have I asked too much? 

Ashamed of self. Foresee, seeing and saw. Stealth mode on.

God's Timing (Daily Bread, May 7)

For every matter there is a time and judgment. —Ecclesiastes 8:6


Maybe we need to be reminded that some things take time—God’s time. For instance, when the Israelites first left Egypt, God sent them on the long route to the Promised Land (Ex. 13:17-18). During that time He prepared them, taught them, and challenged them.
In our microwave world, we want everything done instantaneously. But sometimes that’s not God’s plan. Let’s seek God’s help and learn to accept His timing.

He does not lead me year by year,
Nor even day by day;
But step by step my path unfolds;
My Lord directs my way. —Ryberg

God’s timetable may move slowly, but it does move surely.

 

No matter what you are asking for:

He say yes and gives you what you want.

He says no and gives you something better.

He says wait and gives you the best.

Before You Ask

Your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. —Matthew 6:8

In our time of need—whether spiritual, emotional, or physical—we can depend on the faithful care and concern of the Father. He knows us so well that He chooses the perfect time to give us what is best and to send reassurance of His care. “Not one [sparrow] is forgotten before God. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear . . . ; you are of more value than many sparrows” (Luke 12:6-7).
We can trust the wisdom of His love.

My heart overflows—the grace He provides
Is just what I need for my care;
It’s all I could ask, whatever the task,
Whatever the burden I bear. —Anon.

God’s timing is always right.

Had my answer before I wandered into the labyrinth of thoughts. 

Slaps self. Drenched in frustration, disappointment, and all kinds of negative emotions this week. Till today I am totally awakened.
Proverbs 5
The Lord detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.

Proverbs 16:3
Commit to the LORD whatever you do and He will establish your plans.

I was taught whenever I made mistakes but I failed to learn the lessons. I thought I am to do everything well and planned my own future. Until you crushed everything and tell me it is a no. I knew I have made a big mistake. You have spoken to me before things happen.
Yesterday:

 Harboring hatred in the heart
Will not lead to success;
But following truth and love and grace
Will lead to blessedness.

Hatred promotes self-destruction;
love fulfills Christ’s instruction.

 

Today: 

Sometimes the path of life seems impossibly steep and lengthy. I have no strength and no will for the journey. Then I remember God knew this path long before I was called to walk it. He has always known the difficulties I would experience, the pain that I could never explain to another. He knows and offers His presence.

His ways are higher than our ways; His thoughts higher than our thoughts (Isa. 55:9). We can humbly take the path He has marked out for us today, and do so in absolute trust in His infinite wisdom and love. He is wiser and more loving than we can ever know. He who sees has foreseen and will not lead us astray.

Be still and know that He is God
For pathways steep and rough;
Not what He brings, but what He is
Will always be enough. —Anon.

God will never lead you down a wrong path.

 

I will follow you my good Shepherd. 

 

Love Happens

1. Life always tastes like a lemon. You have only two choices. Make sour face or make lemonade.
2. Practice 5 minutes smiling a day. And you will get used to it.
3. People always have fear in their heart. Hence, they build a barrier in their heart to protect themselves from the possibility of harm.
4. Stop waiting for things to happen. Go out and make them happen.
5. Look in the rear mirror and you will regret for not focusing on things coming unexpectedly.
6.When people lost their love, they live in memories hoping to relive the happiest moments.
7. People hide their true selves so that others won't see their weakest part inside. The hardest thing to do is taking the first step.
8.Climb up the stairs and observe things from different perspective and you will find beautiful things in the same situation.
9.Caring is to step into others shoes and think from opposite site of view.
10.Things do happen unexpectedly in life, but the saddest part of it would be seeing it coming but we are unable to change to outcome.

It was so warm. Three of you came back to see me. I felt the warmth of you lying on my leg. But I couldn't sense your emotions in your eyes anymore. Why would you refuse to look at me? Have I done anything wrong? How I wish the time could have stopped at the moment. Sorrowfulness filled my heart whole day. Tears rolled down few times today. I couldn't hold it back. Father do you hear my cry? Why is this the negative emotions in me lately? I have given all my best already. I really did. Nothing could stop if it is of your intentions.
Heal me, I pray.

愛是不保留 (An Unreserved Love)

I've always been told love won't survive 常聽說世界愛沒長久
Promises will turn into lies 哪裡會有愛無盡頭
The world just think love comes and passes through 塵俗的愛只在乎曾擁有
It never lasts pure and true 一刻燦爛便要走
But I still believe love can last 而我卻確信愛是恆久
It's your unfailing love that gives me rest 碰到了祢已無別求
You were there when I needed you most 無從解釋 不可說明的愛
I'll never walk all alone 千秋過後仍長存不朽
On the cross you died and took away my curse 誰能受痛苦 被懸掛在木頭
Love so wondrous no one ever could deserve 至高的愛 盡見於刺穿的手
Your bleeding hands proved your love unreserved 看！血在流 反映愛沒保留
You are my greatest joy and treasure on the earth 持續不死的愛到萬世不休
Make my life a fragrant offering I pray 惟求奉上生命全歸主所有
Help me Lord to serve you truly everyday 要將一切盡獻於我主的手
Through tears and joy I'll give you all my praise 我已決定今生再沒所求
Let the whole world know your love and grace.  惟望得主稱讚已足夠

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afHLdc8Ibhg English link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT_dBgh-qls&feature=related Chinese Link

Exactly 1 month away from my exams. Wisdom, concentration, support and LOVE from You much needed =)

Song of the day 不住感謝，不停讚美

黃國倫-滾石音樂　【不住感謝，不停讚美 】

喔 主的恩典是何等寶貴
主的慈愛是何等甘甜
我願嘗嘗這種滋味
便知祂的善美

這世界充滿許多謊言
求主吸引我的視線
單單愛慕祢的一切
常住祢的裡面

喔耶穌 喔耶穌
祢是何等寶貴

喔耶穌 喔耶穌
我要不住感謝
不停讚美

This song soothes me tonight.

13 April 2012

Looking back in few years time, never thought I would make it this far. It has been three years since I left my country to study in UK. I am now only 3 exams away from being a graduate engineer. Those times were harsh when I had to learn to grow. Fallen down hard, bleed myself inside out. Met different people who enlighten my life, many pass by but none would stay. But this is life, You have arranged many people to appear at some moment in my life. Some would make me happy, some would disappoint me, some would stay for a long period of time, some just temporarily. I believe that it is Your intention no matter what has happened.
I am still as blur about the future when I first step on this land. Nevertheless, You have guided me through everything. No matter what lies ahead of me, I am never afraid because I BELIEVE. I have grabbed on something SOLID to hope on. You have given me friends, lover and family. You taught me how to love because You first loved me. Although I am just a wretch, a piece of worthless shit, still You have the patience to shape me and my life in a unique way. Thank you Jesus for everything. May You let me be the light and salt in this world, to give selflessly and love unconditionally like you did. You are my greatest teacher and Father in Heaven.

Finished last assignment for the month. February and March gonna be dissertation month. Wohoo~

[God] is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. —Hebrews 11:6
The danger for those who doubt is that they stop looking for God because they believe He can’t be found.
He promised, however, that those who seek God with all their heart and soul will find Him (Deut. 4:29). The book of Hebrews confirms that God rewards those who diligently seek Him (11:6).

If you struggle to believe, remember: Just because you don’t see God doesn’t mean He doesn’t exist. He promises to be found by those who seek Him.

I searched with all my heart to know
If God was really there;
He graciously revealed Himself,
His mercy, love, and care. —Cetas

Because God is great, He will be sought;
because God is good, He will be found.

我们的上帝是忌邪的神。除他以外，别无他神。
当全新全意赞美，但愿你的国度降临之前，我家人与朋友都能归信你。
我祈求圣灵在你们心里动工，愿未信者得救，软弱的得刚强。
詩 篇 138:3
我 呼 求 的 日 子 ， 你 就 应 允 我 ， 鼓 励 我 ， 使 我 心 里 有 能 力 。

There are forces in my heart that drains my energy away. Super~dry. May God cast the evil spirits away.

2012

Today I have signed another contract with God:
To commit myself to you, and let me have a suitable post in your creations, let me suffer for you, and give me the work you want me to do. Give me mission and when you are calling for someone else, I shall stand aside. No matter being lifted up or brought down, rich or poor, I would give everything I have to you willingly.

My sixth sense is telling me something today. I have to accept the fact I stood in a wrong place all time. This is what I have read today:
Make your prayers persistent, do not give up when the results are not seen.
God's delay must be for our greatest benefit.
Not a prayer or a tear is wasted before God.

Again, faith is tested. But above all, please grant me simple happiness in my heart. This is the most luxury gift I would be asking for.